Navigating Life with Neurodivergence: Focus, Tools, and Self-Acceptance Now that my mood has improved and I have the right tools in place for managing depression, the next challenge I’m facing is difficulty with focus, concentration, and completing administrative tasks 🤷‍♀️ My mind is always brimming with ideas, which can be overwhelming, especially when combined with the sensory overload I experience as a highly sensitive person (HSP). Being an INFP with extroverted intuition adds to this and focusing on one thing at a time is a struggle UNLESS it's a special interest 😍 Caffeine in coffee doesn’t work for me. It’s overstimulating and can push me into hypomania. I stick to decaf, but, it doesn’t do much to help me concentrate. Matcha, caffeine and l-theanine, offers a grounded energy, but again, it doesn’t provide the focus I crave. Adderall has been another experiment. Oddly enough, it sometimes calms me so much that I get sleepy, plus the rebound headaches are not worth the trade-off, even at low doses. So, right now executive functioning—those pesky tasks like organizing, planning, and completing mundane to-dos—are my nightmare. While I believe in the philosophy of playing to my strengths and would love to outsource these tasks, some things I just have to do myself. I envy the TJ/FJ types, for whom these tasks seem to come so naturally. I'm experimenting with modafinil to see how my brain responds. I started with a 50mg dose, and 60 mins in felt a surge of stimulation and mental chaos for about an hour, things settled down once I did some grounding exercises. I used sound healing with vibration forks, music, & singing. Modafinil felt like a blend of nicotine and THC to me—fascinating. I’m excited to try a lower dose, around 25mg. As a highly sensitive person, I believe in finding the lowest therapeutic dose that works. Most medications are formulated for the average 155-pound person, and that’s not me. Even as a pharmacist, I’ve come to realize while mechanisms of action are interesting, what really matters is how a medication works for ME. How does MY body response? Is it effective? What dose works? What side effects do I experience? And can I tolerate them? Medicine is a blend of science and art, and I believe we should have the freedom to explore and find what works for us as individuals, especially in a system that often feels unnatural to many of us. This journey is also about self-acceptance. Honoring my natural cycles, my energy ebbs and flows, and my intuitive nature. I have a dolphin chronotype (the erratic sleeper) and as a woman, my energy & emotions fluctuate constantly. Instead of forcing myself to fit into a world that expects me to be a linear, emotionless robot, I’m embracing my own rhythm while still searching for tools to help me navigate this system that wasn’t designed for people like me. ✨ I'm discovering the right tools while living in alignment with my true nature. What's your true nature? What works for you?

Posted by Dr. Emily Kulpa at 2024-10-29 18:58:32 UTC